Broken Barriers (Barriers Series Book 4) Read online

  “I’m not saying no, Drew.” Cole’s lips were muffled at my closeness. And in the blink of an eye, I made my move, pulling her body onto mine. Our lips conjoined in a simple kiss. To my surprise it was Cole who ran her tongue along my lips. My lips parted with ease, and suddenly my body was on fire at the taste of her tongue coupled with my own. While we moved as one, she panted as her hands pulled at my shirt.

  As I deepened the kiss, I ran my fingers on one hand down her neck to her shoulder and down her arm. My fingers wrapped around her wrist, and she shuddered with delight under my touch. Her body pushed further onto mine. A low growl sounded from the back of my throat as I pushed her harder against the cabinets. Our tongues danced for a fleeting moment more before she pulled back, breathless with flushed cheeks.

  Cole’s erratic breathing slowed, and she finally returned to Earth. She pulled her lips under her teeth and let out a long breath, her hand flat against her heaving chest. My own uneven breathing started to calm along with the throbbing sensation I fought so hard to control in my pants.

  The two of us stood silent until she giggled and pushed off the cabinet. Grabbing the potholders again, she picked up the ceramic platter and turned with purpose toward the dining table, placing the dish next to other already laid-out side dishes.

  She picked up her wine glass and took a long sip before heading back in my direction. With a seductive walk that she clearly premeditated to draw my attention, Cole stood across the kitchen from me, her smile confident as she leaned back with ease. Taking a deep breath, I walked two slow steps toward her and leaned in, reaching behind her and picking up the wine bottle. I kissed her on the cheek, preventing her from thinking that I had other intentions. As my lips moved over her ear, her soft brown hair tickled my nose.

  “Now that I’ve sampled the appetizer, let’s get through dinner, because I can’t wait to see what you have planned for dessert.”

  Her breath hitched, and her body stiffened before I pulled back with the wine bottle in my hand. Her eyes widened with nervousness as she focused on the bottle instead of me. I realized how that might have sounded after I said it. No doubt I would have loved to move things in that direction. It didn’t help that I was a guy and sex was always the first thing on my mind. But, we both had issues to get over before anything like that could happen, and I could not hurt her.

  “Cole…” I grabbed her attention as I placed the bottle onto the table next to the flickering candles. “…the blueberry muffins. Remember?” Her eyes wandered up to mine before her head fell back, and I almost made out the soft uttering of “Oh, thank God.” I’d have been hurt if things were actually supposed to move in that direction tonight. My dick had feelings, too, and he was just scorned by this gorgeous brunette with a rocking body.

  I really hoped her bark was worse than her bite. Time would tell.

  “Right.” Cole moved about the kitchen and headed back to the dining table with me. “Blueberry muffins.” She placed the serving spoons into the dishes as I poured the wine glasses full again. “I also believe I have the choice of the movie tonight, too,” she said.

  “That was the deal,” I answered, pulling out the chair next to me for her to sit down. Cole mumbled something before sliding into her seat. As she pulled her chair closer to the table, I sat in my own seat staring at her. She grabbed the linen-lined basket of bread on the table and turned to offer me a slice of Italian bread. As my fingers brushed with hers, her laughter became uncontrollable. I narrowed my eyes at her as I pulled out a slice of warm crusty bread.

  “What’s so funny?” I asked as I bit off a corner of the bread.

  “Well,” Cole calmly said. “Since I have the movie choice, I really hope you enjoy chick flicks, because we’ll be watching Pitch Perfect while the blueberry muffins are baking.”

  The corner of one side of her lips curled up, and her eyes sparkled with sinister delight. I’d been duped. But, she didn’t know that I’d actually watched that movie a million times and secretly enjoyed it.

  The radio blasted “Your Guardian Angel” through the car speakers as I made my way south on the highway. My thumb tapped along with the soothing beat. The hot sun beat down through the cloudless afternoon skies warming my skin. I was heading over to my sister’s house for a typical Sunday dinner. I usually avoided them, not because I didn’t get invited, but because it was something Josh’s family did. And that usually meant there would be some chance of me running into her.

  Sam swore that Courtney wouldn’t be there, so I wouldn’t have to deal with that added pressure. She also wanted me to bring Cole so she could meet the woman who had somewhat taken over my mind the last few weeks.

  I nixed that idea quickly. I had only spent the other night with Cole, and yes, we planned on spending more time together, but there was no way in hell she was going to be subjected to dinner with my family yet. No friggin’ way.

  As I hummed through the lyrics, my mind was consumed by thoughts of nothing but Cole. Her smile. Her laugh. That energy of hers was like the Earth’s gravitational pull. It was always there, enveloping me, no matter how much I wanted to fight it.

  Somehow, she’d managed to pull my mind into this whirlwind of chaos, but amidst all the confusion, one thing was for certain—Cole had settled my mind at night. Since we had really started getting to know each other, my flashbacks had become almost tolerable. I hadn’t woken in a state of sweat-induced rage and panic for nearly a week.

  In fact, I woke to the exact opposite since our blueberry muffin cooking lesson. God, what a mess that was. I was civil for much of dinner with her, mostly talking about my past while she talked mostly about the here-and-now and nothing about anything within the last few years. It was probably for the best since we avoided bringing up the guy who hurt her as well as my history with Courtney and my deployment. We were both single and making the most of our time alone together.

  The minute the muffin cooking session started with the flour, the kneading of dough, and the folding of the blueberries, it all became too much for me to handle. There was no more talk about pasts, presents, or futures. It was just the two of us in the moment, and it was a shitshow.

  There were blueberries everywhere, and flour handprints were stamped on my ass cheeks of my shorts. I was pretty sure I pulled a smashed blueberry out of my ear as we sat in her living room watching Pitch Perfect. We were like two teenagers on a first date instead of adults wondering if making a move would be inappropriate or not.

  Every morning she sent me a text message that brought a smile to my face. It was so sugary sweet, I swore, I would have a cavity before the end of the summer. Either that or I’d weigh twenty pounds more than I should since she had me stopping by the coffee shop regularly. This led to me sampling more pastries than I was burning off since I’d yet to find a workout regimen or a job.

  Traffic was unusually quiet on the highway for this summer Sunday afternoon. Most of the vacationers appeared to have decided to leave earlier than normal since I had anticipated spending nearly twenty minutes backed up at the tollbooths on the New Hampshire border. Instead, I was pulling into Josh and Sam’s old Victorian house just over the border in Massachusetts twenty minutes early.

  I yanked the beer cooler from the backseat of the car and headed toward the loud ruckus coming from the backyard. My sunglasses only marred the image in front of me as I pushed through the back picket gate to the yard.

  Colorful toys littered the yard. Josh’s brother, Jeremy, and his family were here as well. Since I’d actively avoided run-ins with Courtney, my time spent with the Page family had been minimal over the years. It was good to finally see them again. I saw their son, Ben, running around with Dean in the yard. The squealing sounds of little boys did nothing to settle the chaotic scene, especially the loud shriek from my sister who was coming my way.

  Sam rushed me into a giant bear hug. You would have never thought I had seen her a week ago. I pushed my sunglasses onto the top of my head and dropped the coo
ler to hug her back. “Sam, what’s with the excitement?” My laughter rumbled through my chest as she took a step back. She grabbed the cooler before pushing me over to the rest of the family.

  “It’s nothing,” she answered, smiling from ear to ear. “Just glad to have you here.”

  Josh slapped me on the shoulder as he hoisted Dean over his shoulders. “Unca Boobies!” Dean shouted as he tugged Josh’s hair. Josh’s lips curled up, silently laughing at the fantastic job I did teaching my nephew a new word.

  “Dean! My little dude.” I reached out to hopefully get a high five from him. He smacked his palm against mine, and I shook my hand and winced with fake pain. Dean’s face lit up, and he giggled as he thought he had the strength of a million men.

  As we all gathered around the patio, I listened to stories about their daily lives and wondered where I fit in to this carefully molded family now. Nobody wanted to hear the stories about Afghanistan. Why would they? Plus, it was all but a thing in my past these days.

  I had somehow created a dull, white noise of static, leaving me channeling my thoughts elsewhere. My eyes focused on one thing only—my beer bottle. I picked and pulled at the label under my fingers. I heard her name, and I tried not to listen. There was discussion about her winter wedding and how even under a blanket of cold snow and gray skies she was breathlessly beautiful.

  I slid my seat back with force as the metal scraped against the stone patio. Everyone’s eyes turned on me while I pitched my empty bottle into the trash bin with added frustration. I jerked open the cooler, reaching my hand through the numbingly cold ice to pull out a new bottle. Any pain right now was better than having to listen to them talk about her marrying him.

  Popping the cap off my beer with my keychain bottle opener, I turned to see Josh heading in my direction. Great. Just what I needed. More talk about how she missed me and loved me. I kept hearing the same story over and over again. Would I ever be completely free of this torment?

  Josh surprised me, though. He reached into the cooler for his own cold beer and angled his head in the direction of the grill, away from the patio area. As we were walking, I couldn’t help but feel as though I was about to be given that “big brother” talk I’d avoided for so long.

  He pushed a few buttons on the grill, and whoosh sounds spewed as the burners ignited inside. He shut the lid to the grill and clenched his beer, taking a long pull from the bottle of summer ale. We stood in silence other than the playful banter between the kids and the conversations happening around the patio.

  “So, have you given any thought to what you are going to do now that you are out of the Marines?” Josh shocked me with the direction of his initial conversation. I thought for sure this would have had something to do with Courtney. I was stunned so much that I just stared like an idiot with my mouth ajar.

  I couldn’t tell him that I had not even thought about it. Even worse, I couldn’t be the one to tell him that I didn’t know what I was qualified to do at this point.

  “By the lack of response, my guess is your answer is no.” Josh adjusted a couple of the knobs on the burner temps as he began preparing the grill for cooking. “Let me ask you this then. Tell me, where do you see yourself living?” I shrugged my shoulders and tried to think farther down the road.

  “I honestly haven’t given it any thought, Josh. I mean, you know as well as I do how much I hated working for my dad’s law firm. It’s what made me join the Marines in the first place.” I suddenly felt as though it was one hundred degrees outside, and I was in the hot seat. “I don’t have the perfect life all planned out like you and Sam.” My voice turned more accusing. Josh’s eyes snapped open as he heard my sharpened words.

  “Hey!” Josh raised an eyebrow at me, glancing over at the others to see if they heard his outburst. “Don’t you ever forget how very un-perfect that life was not that long ago.” He took a few short steps in my direction. His shoulders squared with mine as if he was a match for me. We had always seen eye-to-eye, but after I left and things with his sister became complicated, I noticed changes not only in me but also him.

  He was settled and happy with my sister. Dean was primarily the root cause of that, but Josh had loved Sam with every fiber of his heart since the day he met her. I only wished his own sister would have felt the same about me.

  “Listen, you want to continue to sit around drinking and doing nothing with your life at the lake, well, that’s your call. I’m only going to stick my neck out for you this one time, so you better listen and listen well.”

  Sam interrupted us and handed Josh a platter of hamburgers, hot dogs, and aluminum-wrapped corn on the cob. She leaned up to whisper something to him before she turned around. Josh slapped her ass while her face flushed as she yelped, “Josh!” Twisting around, she whacked his arm and moved to walk past me, but stopped suddenly. “Everything okay over here?” Sam asked, narrowing her eyes between Josh and me. She must have sensed something different about me while standing there.

  “Everything is fine, sugar,” Josh said. “Just having some adult male bonding time. You know, sex and porn talk.” And with an eye roll, she walked away, muttering to herself as she sat back down next to Emily, Jeremy’s wife, who continued to play with Dean and Ben. Jeremy was clearly the odd man out as he sat amongst the girls.

  “Well, I’m not getting laid tonight,” Josh said as he tossed the burger patties onto the grill.

  “Really?” I shook my head. “That’s my sister. I don’t want to hear about that.”

  “Mmmhmm.” Josh continued adding food to the grill. “Not at all the same thing while you were banging my own sister.”

  Shit. He had a point, but Courtney and I did try our best to keep that under tight lock and key for a while before the wedding night rendezvous leaked out. After that, well, everyone knew about us.

  “Anyway, back to what I was saying before.” Josh shut the lid to the grill. “I know you were part of the Military Police unit in the Marines. If, and I do mean if, you decide to stay in New Hampshire, I might have a job opportunity for you. I have a few connections with some state police up in the Laconia area. I will only bend my neck for you if you truly want to consider a job on the police force.”

  My mind tried to process all that he had thrown at me. It was certainly something I hadn’t ever considered. I never had the plan of taking my military training and using it to further my future career. I had always just assumed I’d be destined to work some stuffy office job in the city, wearing the suit, and working the boring nine-to-five job with the wife and kids waiting for me at home.

  I scratched the scruff against the side of my jaw as I watched Josh flip the burgers. Then my eyes glanced over at my sister. She sat there bouncing Dean on her lap. He laughed as she lifted him to place raspberry kisses on his cheeks. Her smile was as large as his.

  “Tell me, Josh. You ever give it a second thought? The force?” I asked. Josh turned and pushed his aviator sunglasses on top of his head. I saw the answer in his eyes before he said it.

  “I grew up always wanting to be a cop. It was my destiny in life.” He shook his head and glanced at Sam. “Then she came along,” he said, raising his chin toward my sister, “and I knew then I had a purpose for doing the job I do.” I glanced between Josh and Sam and understood what he meant. My sister and my nephew might not be here if it wasn’t for him.

  But, what was my purpose?

  “You know my military training isn’t exactly the same as what you do each day you go to work.”

  “No, but you are used to taking risks for your country. Not much is different when you put your life on the line for another person who might need your help one day when you least expect it.” Josh drew in a breath and released it slowly. “One day you might wake up and think, where the hell did the last five years of my life go?” He pointed over to Sam and Dean. “Just be sure to make those five years worth every second, because life may not give you second chances.”

  Jeremy walked past u
s, clasping Josh on the shoulder before grabbing a juice box from the cooler along with a cold beer. Ben’s bare feet pounded against the ground as he rushed to his dad’s side. His head tilted all the way back, eyes squinting as he gazed up at Jeremy who punched the little straw through the juice box. Ben’s little hands stretched up, his fingers waving as he eagerly waited for his drink. As soon as he had the juice in hand, Ben bounced back to Emily while Jeremy stayed with us guys by the grill.

  Jeremy gave me a silent nod before twisting his baseball cap backward and tossing his sunglasses over his eyes. “Please tell me you two girls aren’t talking about the same thing I’ve been listening to over there for the last fifteen minutes. There is only so much girl drama a man can take.”

  Josh lifted the lid to the grill and backed away from the billowing smoke. He placed a couple of cheese slices onto the burgers before turning back to his brother. “Jeremy, you’re a good example for what we were just talking about. So, I was just telling Drew that I might be able to pull some strings and get him an interview with the New Hampshire State Police.”

  Jeremy relaxed and stood at ease, his arms crossed over his chest. “You thinking about joining the force, too?” he asked. His voice seemed eager to chat about something besides girlie stuff.

  “Great. Now I’ve got both brothers trying to push me in that direction.”

  Josh’s face scrunched as he held up a flattened hand to me. “No. No…all I’m saying is do something you’re happy or comfortable doing. There was a reason why you chose the Marines and a reason why you chose to be a Military Police Officer in your unit. You see where I’m going with this? There had to be a reason you chose that.”

  My mind raced with all the possibilities of failure, but my gut told me to take a chance. I really had to stop second-guessing everything. First, it was Courtney, and now this. Josh observed my inner struggle. It was either my wrinkled brow or the fact that I was cracking my knuckles to relieve some of the nervous tension.