Burning Barriers (Barriers Series Book 3) Page 3

  “What the hell are you doing here?” I snap as his shit-eating grin begins to annoy me.

  “I had the morning off, so I thought I’d stop by to see how you were doing.”

  “Well, I’m here, and I’m perfectly fine. You can turn around and go home now.”

  “Luce, I talked to Ellen last night. Well… she basically talked to me and told me all you’ve been through recently. I’m so sorry. Had I known I wouldn’t have come at you the way I did. I… I… it’s just been a long time, and… well, you know.”

  “No, I don’t know, Jake. All I know is that Ellen shouldn’t have told you my business. I’m only home for a few weeks to try to get my head straight after everything. Having you show up yesterday, and now today, is not helping me sort my shit out.”

  A look of pain suddenly flashes across his face as though I slapped him or broke his heart. My knees tremble in his presence, but I know no matter what, I need to be able to move on from him again. I cannot give in to the years of memories and fantasizing about a man who still holds a piece of my heart after all this time.

  Suddenly, movement behind Jake distracts me enough to pull my eyes away from him. Ellen moves closer until she sees me standing there with my arms crossed and tapping my foot as she glances between Jake and me.

  “I’ll just be inside. It’s looks as though you two have some issues to work through,” she says before quickly moving back into the house. Run, Ellen. Run now. Sister or no sister, I will hurt her for opening her trap about what happened to me, especially to Jake, of all people.

  I let out a huff of air before returning to the chaise lounge to gather my things. I make quick work of snatching my mug and e-reader before turning around to see Jake still standing there staring at me. He slowly moves across the stone patio to stand within inches of me again. His hands reach out to grab the items in my hand and place them onto the black wrought iron patio table.

  When he turns back to face me, he gently places his warm hands around mine. My eyes focus on the simple connection instead of my weakening willpower against the man in front of me.

  “Lucy, I get we parted on bad terms years ago, but I never would ever want you to have to go through anything that would jeopardize your life. I just wish…”

  My eyes remain fixated on our linked hands. Don’t look at him, Lucy. Don’t do it. You know it will all be over once you do. As much as I hate to admit this, no matter what happened during my past sexual encounters, I know Jake Galloway has been a part of my heart and soul all this time.

  I stay focused on our hands, but Jake’s voice breaks my tenacity when he tells me the only words I had hoped he’d never say again.

  “Lucy, I just wish you had never left. You’re the only woman I’ve ever lo—”

  “Please, don’t say it, Jake. Please,” I interrupt him before lifting my eyes to his. “Please, don’t say those words.”

  “It’s true, Luce. I’ve only ever truly loved you, even after I let you go.”

  Stay strong, Lucy.

  “Jake,” I softly say. “I can’t do this with you.”

  “Why not? I saw the way you looked at me yesterday. Shit, I see it right now. Don’t fight it… us.”

  I shake my head, trying to convince him more than myself that this is not the case, even when I know in fact he’s called my bluff. Before I have any chance to lie and tell him I don’t feel the same, his hands pull my face up to his, and his lips crash unto mine.

  Seven years apart have suddenly dissipated with just one kiss. Our tongues collide as my hands reach out to fist his button-down shirt between my fingers. I pull him closer. Even though our mouths are connected, I feel the need to be closer.

  My body melts instantly in his arms, and I realize in just a few weeks, leaving him will ultimately be harder than it was seven years ago.

  Why did I even think coming back here was a good idea? Oh, right, because the man in front of me has suddenly made my mind switch from being on edge about Stone to instantly at ease. He makes me feel safe. I don’t flinch at his touch. He still owns my heart and my body.

  I’m so fucked!

  I can’t understand why or how I managed to start kissing Lucy. Hell if I even care. My dick is rock hard, and it’s aching to be buried deep inside her again. My hands roam under her oversized sweatshirt and trace slowly over her back. One hand pulls her closer into me as the other begins to tread softly over her stomach before reaching her tits.

  Holy shit, no bra. Seriously, this is becoming a major mind fuck at the moment.

  Soft moans vibrate against my lips as Lucy’s hands continue to hold on to my shirt for dear life. As I nip at her bottom lip, our kiss grows more feverish.

  I need to have her right here and right the fuck now. I don’t give a shit if her family is in the house watching. Grabbing under her ass, I hoist her gorgeous curvy body and walk to the chaise lounge. I lower her so she’s beneath me, never breaking the connection between our lips.

  Yeah, baby, that’s called fuckin’ talent.

  She withdraws slightly to whisper my name as she pushes her heated core into my overly stimulated cock. Her hands move to start working their way around the belt loops of my pants just as Five Finger Death Punch’s “Bad Company” starts echoing from my back pocket.

  Great fuckin’ timing.

  I pull back from Lucy’s body and sit on the edge of the cushion. As I grab the phone, she begins to right her clothes and fix her hair. My free hand instantly reaches out to push back a stray blonde hair behind her ear, and I let my hand trail down to the scar that now marks her neck.

  My eyes remain focused on her as I slide my finger across the screen to answer the call. Already knowing from the ringtone who’s calling, I answer more annoyed than anything. “What the fuck do you want, Laurel? I told you to stop calling my phone if it’s not an absolute emergency, so unless that fuckin’ barn is burning to the ground, you know to call my mother instead of me.”

  Laurel Tanner. She’s my mother’s office manager at the ranch. She handles the books and finances along with all the meetings that happen on any given week. It helps she knows a thing or two about horses since she grew up with us on the ranch and used to barrel race for fun. She comes from money and gets everything she wants. My mother thinks she can do no wrong. The only problem with that is, she’s already done the worst thing out there.

  Me.

  We fucked in a barn stall one late, stupid, drunken night shortly after the summer I graduated from high school. What can I say? I was young, dumb, and full of cum. Technically, I still am, only now I know enough to avoid that black widow spider as best I can. If she gets her fangs in a guy, he’s toast.

  Laurel continues to tell me that she can’t get in touch with my mother, and she has some meetings that need to be confirmed. My eyes watch as Lucy figures out exactly which “Laurel” I’m talking to and starts packing up her stuff from the patio. After I tell Laurel I’ll try calling my mother shortly, I hang up and turn my head to find Lucy heading toward the back door.

  “Lucy,” I say, stopping her before she goes into the house. I make my way over to stand before her, instantly seeing the emptiness in her eyes that I saw only minutes ago. I know that look well. It was the same look she gave me years ago before she left town. I scan her face for any sign that she might be feeling any different, but it’s just blank. Her hands fiddle with the magnet on her e-reader cover as her eyes move to glance inside the house through the glass door. “Lucy, I’m sorry about that, but I’ve got to get going. Mom is needed at the ranch. Can I come by sometime this week and maybe take you out to dinner? You know, catch up.”

  “Jake, I don’t know if that’s such a good idea. I mean, what happened just then probably shouldn’t happen again. I’m sure Laurel will have me exiled out of town faster than she used to race her horses.”

  I snap my head back at Lucy and pull her chin up with my index finger so her eyes stare back at me. She needs to hear this, and she needs to understa
nd what I’m about to say. “I don’t give a shit what Laurel thinks. She’s not the one in front of me right now. Luce, since you left, there’s been nobody else for me. I’ve fucked a shitload of women, Laurel being one of them. For that I’m not proud of, but there’s only ever been one woman in mind all these years, and she’s standing in front of me. So, forgive me when I say I will be having dinner with you this week, and we will be catching up.” I lean my body closer to hers as my lips skim across her cheek. Her breath catches, and I hear her clear her throat slightly before my mouth hovers over her ear. “And, Luce, if after we’re all caught up, don’t fight those urges you just had because I know you wanted more to happen between us. I know buried deep down behind those barriers you wanted more. Now, am I right?” I feel her nod in agreement as I pull my mouth and body back to stand in front of her, but not before I cup the side of her face and softly kiss her succulent lips. Her eyes remain closed as I turn to open the door. “Luce?”

  Her eyes open and scatter around until she sees me in the doorway. “Yeah,” she answers apprehensively.

  “Thursday. Be ready at seven. Oh… and wear a dress.” I wink at her as I make my way through the house, passing her inquisitive mother and sister in the kitchen. Ellen stares me down the entire way. As I wave goodbye to them before I head out the front door, I hear Ellen from behind me.

  “Hurt her again, Jake Galloway, and I will let everyone in town know you have syphilis.”

  “Not gonna happen, Ellen! You have my word!” I holler back at her.

  Two wrongs never made a right, or so my father used to say. I already wronged Lucy once. Dad made sure I heard an earful from him when that happened. This is my last chance to make it right. I have unresolved matters with Lucy Wyatt, and if I don’t at least attempt to make them right, she could be out of here just as fast as she left the first time.

  The sun is barely above the mountain range, and I’m already annoyed as my alarm on my phone continues to piss me off. For some reason last night, my dad thought it would be therapeutic for the entire family to spend the day hiking in the Colorado wilderness. Another step in my recovery from Stone’s attack. Normally, this idea would bring me joy. Before I left town, it was a regular occurrence for the Wyatt family to go hiking different mountains every weekend in the summer. I was young and didn’t know any better.

  I just want to wake up and enjoy my coffee and chat with my friends around the kitchen before starting my day. Right now, that appears to be a distant memory. After talking with Sam last night, things have been moving in the right direction for her and Josh. She mentioned that my other two roller derby sisters, Kim and Rose, were still trying to find a place for the three of us. I’m happy for Sam, and I know she’s deserved her own happiness for such a long time. I’m also happy that Kim and Rose are still looking out for me, but for three years, the four of us were inseparable regardless of what happened. We were our own sisterhood. Our group was never separated for very long. Every morning it was common knowledge that we’d be hanging around the kitchen having our breakfast and gossiping about stupid shit. But, after talking with Sam, I think it’s finally time for me to see this as an opportunity to grow stronger on my own and lead my own path once I head back to Massachusetts. We’ll still all have the roller derby team together, only the living situation will change. When I do talk to Kim and Rose, I’ll explain I love my derby sisters to death, but after recent events, perhaps it’s finally time my mother hens cut me loose.

  A knock at the door breaks my thoughts from my other family. “Rise and shine, Lulu Bear!” Ellen storms into the room as I throw the blankets back over my head while groaning in the process.

  “Would you stop with the Lulu Bear, please?” I draw out my last word, begging her to stop calling me that name I somehow possessed as a child. Ellen always was just a younger version of Mom. So, when Mom tagged me with that name at the young age of five, it stuck in Ellen’s head and never left.

  “Oh, stop it, you big baby! You’ll always be Lulu to us. Now, get your ass out of bed and get ready. Dad has all the gear ready for us downstairs, and Mom is packing snacks and drinks for everyone. This will be good. We haven’t done this since… well, since you left.”

  Seriously, did the whole world stop functioning the minute I left town after high school? You’d think time stood still, and everyone’s lives were put on hold while I was gone. Pushing the sheets off my face, I stare back oddly at the big blue eyes that could easily be my own. “Ellen, what do you mean, you haven’t gone hiking since I left? Dad is always saying he and Mom are out on the trails.”

  “That’s just it, Luce. They go to your favorite place, but they haven’t conquered the big mountains without us with them,” Ellen says as she moves to the doorway. “Dad always said there was something special about having the two of us with him and Mom when they hit the summit of a fourteener. So, c’mon, you lazy ass, and let’s get this day started.” With that, Ellen scurries down the hall, and I can hear her downstairs yelling up at me, “Fifteen minutes, LuuuLuuu!”

  “All right, all right! I’m getting up!” I shout back at her. Dammit, why didn’t she have a nickname growing up that I could shove in her face? As I roll out of bed, I quickly grab the water bottle that I didn’t notice she must have left on the nightstand. Given the altitude of Breckenridge, I assumed I’d have an easy time adjusting to the lack of oxygen in the air. Not the case. The altitude here is definitely not the same as Massachusetts’. At thirteen thousand feet, the air might be clearer and fresher, but I know I haven’t been drinking enough water to help alleviate the pain. Since Jake left the house the other day, I’ve had a pounding headache that I thought was a combination of trying to put my feelings together and the lingering effects of the concussion. And, with the added restless, sleepless nights, I continue to struggle to get through each night. Stone might be dead, but he still haunts me when I sleep.

  I can’t let my past control my future. Perhaps a change is exactly what I need in my life right now. Being with Sam and my other roommates the past few years has brought me so much joy. From our Derby Date Nights to the house parties, all of them have allowed me to be happy on the surface. To no fault of their own, they never saw what caused the pain that festered within my soul.

  I never told anyone about Jake. Maybe if I had told them, I wouldn’t be where I am right now. Deep down, there has been that haunting sadness that I have to face head-on now that I’m home.

  Since my return to Breckenridge, my entire family thinks they can fix me. Why does everyone seem to think I need to be fixed? I was attacked, and yes, it was traumatic. I’m living and breathing, but I’m not broken. Well, not completely. There’s still a piece of my heart that has been missing for a number of years. Something tells me I know where to find it, and that scares the shit out of me.

  My therapist in Massachusetts told me this entire situation would take time. She wasn’t fully on board with my leaving her care so quickly after Sam’s ex-boyfriend attacked me in my own house and used me just to get to her. The severe concussion and the raised scar from where he slid the knife along my neck are only minor injuries to overcome, considering I’m still living and breathing. Stone is not. It’s strange how these things happen for a reason. Had Sam never met Josh and fallen in love, neither of us might be here living and breathing at the moment.

  Stone might haunt my dreams for now, but I’ll be damned if he’s going to control my future recovery. I need to push through and find that happiness that used to consume me. That’s why I’m here in Breckenridge. I might have been happy with my derby girls and working at the salon all these years, but I haven’t been completely happy since the day I left everything behind. My happiness was all here until I left. My parents, my sister, this town, and if I’m being entirely honest with myself, Jake might be the only one to help heal me. He has always been the one holding my heart.

  Jake said to wear a dress. Truthfully, he didn’t realize that Breckenridge and Boston fashion a
re two entirely different realms of the fashion world. The minute I walk down the stairs wearing my strapless tulle dress with caviar beading and stiletto heels, Ellen has no problem pushing my ass back up the stairs to her bedroom, saying, “You wear that out in town and the natives will laugh in your face.”

  I know I might have overdone it a little, but considering I was planning on things getting a little more heated tonight between Jake and me, I stepped it up a bit, so sue me. At least I wasn’t walking the streets of Breck in my platform heels and red leather pants. Knowing Jake, he’d drop them to my ankles in a matter of seconds and take me from behind.

  I fan my face as I think of all the naughty things Jake is capable of doing to me. At this rate, I’ll have to change my panties before I even leave the house.

  “Are you paying attention to me, Luce?” I hear Ellen say from behind me as she continues to twist my hair with the curling iron, snapping my attention from the erotic thoughts that have been filtering through my mind for the past fifteen minutes.

  “What?” I ask as my eyes watch her tame my thick, unruly wavy hair in the mirror.

  Ellen places the curling iron onto the vanity next to her array of hair care products. I don’t have the heart to tell her that the cheap stuff from the department stores doesn’t do anything for her hair. I know she’s on a tight budget, and if it weren’t for my big sister always doing my hair growing up, I might not have learned what I needed to in order to succeed.

  She walks in front of me, grabbing her wine glass off the vanity. She takes a sip before turning her attention to me again. “Luce, I asked if you’re sure you’ll be okay with Jake. I mean… after everything you’ve gone through, do you think you’re ready to be with him?”

  “You mean, like have sex with him?”

  Ellen snorts in her wine. “Not exactly what I meant by ‘be with him,’ but I guess we could bring that up, too, since I had to witness you two getting all hot and heavy on the patio a few days ago.”